Without further ado, it’s time to start recapping some dates!
Where I found him: Tinder
Date number: 1
What we did: Went for beers at a local dive with live music.
Feelings going in: Anxious, excited, and a little nervous. This was not only my first date of 2017, it was my first date in more than a year. (I know, I know!) I was anxious because I tend to have a bit of social anxiety no matter what I’m doing. From the few days we’d been chatting on Tinder, I could tell he had a playful personality, which I love. That made me excited. Since I can be shy meeting new people, it helps bring me out of my shell a bit when they’re outgoing and fun. And of course I was nervous. See above for how long it’d been since I’d been on a date.
The date: Before I moved to Nashville, I joked with a friend that I was more likely to get involved with someone divorced than to find someone my age who’d never been married. One of my best friends is very happily involved with a single dad, and I thought she could be on to something with that demographic. Kids for me are definitely not a deal breaker, but as a child of divorce, I have no delusions about a relationship with a single parent being all smooth sailing and frolicking through the meadow riding unicorns. I know that falling for a single parent would come with a whole host of other considerations, including but not limited to, an ex that will ALWAYS be in the picture, children that may or may not resent you, and the fact that you will always come in second in your lover’s eyes. Of course it’s all scary, but for the right guy, I have zero doubt in my mind that it would be worth it.
The Dreamy Dad Next Door (DDND) and I had been chatting for a couple of days over New Year’s when we decided to meet up for beers at a neighborhood dive bar. I beat him to the bar and was able to get a few swigs of my drink down before he got there. He texted to let me know that I shouldn’t let anyone else hit on me before he got there. Cute.
He got there and my first thought was, “Damn, he is even better looking in person. Don’t go mute.”
We made introductions, hugged and got him a beer. He commented on my wrist tattoo and we made a few jokes which put me immediately at ease. We talked music, hobbies, politics, and the conversation lasted for a few hours. At times, it felt like a little magnet or thread was pulling me closer to him, as we would lean in to each other mid-sentence, or scoot our barstools closer together to view something on his phone. He texted me some music he wanted me to listen to, and I promised to do the same once I decided what I wanted selection to send him from my current favorite band, which he hadn’t listened to before. He paid for the beers, and was appreciative that I at least fought him and made him let me leave the tip. We hugged again and went our separate ways. Before I made it home he sent me text complimenting my eyes and asking me out again. Not at all a first dip back into the dating pool.
What surprised me most: My comfort level with him. I felt at ease, conversation and laughs flowed freely, and I wasn’t in my head over thinking everything I said or didn’t say. Being with him was just fun and felt natural. I could immediately see us being friends, even if nothing romantic comes of it.
Any of you guys and gals out there ever date a single parent? Would love to hear about it, and any advice you’ve got. I’ve got more dates with other single dads on the books and can use all the tips you can spare.